The more we like each other, the more we compromise - The Manager
CULTIVATED MANAGEMENT
Cultivated Management Newsletter - Edition 19
Howdy. I do hope you've had a pleasant weekend and are all set for a great week ahead.
I'll be doing a little radio silence on social media for a few weeks as I've embarked on a new project and have a ton of work on right now. It's all good indeed and I have plenty of books and courses and videos on the way for you all.
I was thinking the other day though about what most of my work is now-a-days - it's helping companies solve people problems - these problems being how to get people to work better with each other. It's an age old problem and doesn't seem like it's going to get solved anytime soon. It's also a complicated and complex problem with many symptoms and many different causes.
However, there are some simple areas to focus on when you have problems with people working with each other.
Firstly, I study the problems based on behaviours to determine what is actually happening and who is saying/doing what - I try to get primary information - not second or third hand - harder than it sounds.
Secondly, I work with existing managers to understand what they are doing to address the problems and what insights they have. This typically leads to the third area of focus - the levers management have that will give them the greatest return.
Thirdly - there are levers to pull everywhere - some lead to bad behaviour (goal setting, MBO, shouting, command and control, enforced pointless process etc) and some lead to better behaviours (inspiring stories from leaders, more autonomy (with support), feedback to weak performers etc).
In my experience, the reason most issues exist, and then snowball, when it comes to people working well with each other is due to management. When I work with companies it's always at point 2 and 3 that I find the most dysfunctions. Essentially, managers often have no idea what levers to pull or how their own behaviours are influencing others.
In some companies it's because management are too far removed from the work to understand the impact they are having on it. However, in many tech companies the opposite problem exists - the manager are too close to the work and the people doing it. Another interesting trait I see often in tech managers is this bizarre idea that everyone must like each other, for there to be no conflict and for everyone to collaborate nicely - utopia. Life would be awesome if that were a reality - sadly, it rarely is.
You might obtain that. You might be lucky to find it all fall in to place. I don't see these sorts of high performing teams often. In fact, I probably see 1 in 100 that are as well oiled as that and these are mostly very small teams with an outstanding mission in mind.
Dig below the empty PR and platitudes of most companies who talk about collaboration, friendship and the like and you often find conflict, resentment, relationships that hinder tricky conversations and people who are deeply frustrated in their roles.
Dig below the surface of almost every single team and you'll find these things - but most tech managers don't like to admit this happens - most people in the teams don't either.
The reason it happens is always because of weak management. Always. Most managers are letting it happen because they are trying to avoid conflict, awkward conversations and they have no idea which levers to pull. So they often end up pulling the levers that lead to the least conflict. However, these levers often don't help the business.
As a manager you're paid to make the business a success, not be friends with everyone. You're paid to be effective. Most managers want to be liked. The best managers - the ones I hire, coach and train - tread the line between effective and liked well. They are in the middle most of the time but they know when to move to being effective over being liked.
If you find a happy balance - awesome - it will come with time, but to get to such a place of awesomeness you need to address the conflict, you have to talk about performance with the low performers and you have to pull levers that make the business a success - and sometimes this means people will just have to cooperate, and not necessarily collaborate, and they may not like you for that.
One of the hardest lessons to learn as a manager is that your main focus lies with making the business a success. You work for the business. That doesn't mean you can't be compassionate, caring and supportive, but sometimes you have to move to the side of being effective over being liked.
Most of my work is about coaching managers to do the right thing - the thing they know they need to - and that's to have tricky conversations with under-performers, arrogant producers and those who are refusing to cooperate. It's hard. Really hard indeed. But sometimes, it needs to be done.
If you're a manager what do you need to do to get people working better with each other?
Are you too deep in the weeds or are you too far removed?
The balance lies in-between - keeping a hand in with powerful reporting/trust lines, but letting people have the freedom to excel. It's a pain in the backside treading this line - but the modern manager must do it.
Go forth and create epic teams.
Rob
New content from me
Here's some new content from me this week:
The Ultimate Guide To Using Evernote as a Manager
Evernote is the perfect tool for an aspiring manager. Loads of cool features and perfect for a second brain. Store 1:1 notes, meeting notes, whiteboard photos and more.
Behind the scenes
I've been off this week so I've not read anything or done much at all work related. It's been half-term this week so I spent the week with my boys.
I did scatter 40 odd golf balls across a cafe floor at Winchester Golf Academy. It turns out I was supposed to put the basket under the golf machine BEFORE scanning my ticket! Oh well - you learn. I took my 4 year old for a go on the driving range. It was my first time playing golf in about 20 years, and his first time EVER. We were awful, but we had a right laugh. Family first.
We then had a nice cuppa.
